On Calling People Cunts

cunt

The writing’s on the wall….

 
In a group where one of the literal rules is that the word “cunt” is not allowed.
  
Guy’s car window gets broken. He uses the word “cunt” to describe the person who broke his window. Gets in trouble for using it so to avoid moderation changes it to “dirty little female parts”.
 
Way to just…uncover all of the gender-specific hatred behind that word and just bring it right out into the open.
 
I pointed out that I was finding it difficult to feel sympathy for his situation when he used a highly charged, gendered insult to refer to the person – and then doubled down on it but just directly shitting on women.
I was being honest.  When a person directly refers to my genitalia in an insult to the person, I (and many women) are immediately left with the feeling that the person using the insult (particularly so directly) probably has limited or conditional respect for women.  They are immediately someone I will feel far less comfortable around.  Maybe even unsafe with.  Think that’s baseless? Ever been a woman?silencedwoman
 
I express my discomfort with that word and its aggressive implications, immediately get viciously attacked for doing so. Called hypersensitive, weak, triggered, fragile, pathetic, and all manner of other hateful names.
 
Then I get kicked out of the group for being uppity. And it was ABSOLUTELY predictable. I knew it was going to happen and I was honestly surprised that it didn’t happen sooner. I lasted a whole 12 or so hours after pointing out that a word made me uncomfortable before I was removed for stirring shit. I’ve never been less sorry. Oh no, I’m kicked out of the group which is demonstrably hostile to women? Oh. No. Stop. However will I deal with SLIGHTLY fewer reminders that my gender makes me inherently inferior/dirty/negative in the eyes of the population?
 
You see we’re allowed to be uncomfortable with gendered insults but only if we keep our pretty little lady mouths shut and take it like the good little bitches we are. 
 
This isn’t rocket science, people. When a man uses vaginas to insult another man, he’s saying that vaginas are inherently bad. In terms of the word “cunt” we’re talking about “bad” in the “nasty/evil/vile/disgusting/awful” sense. I’m not sure how to make you, as guys, understand this without, IDK, hundreds of fucking years of having “penis” used to describe the person you wish you could throat-punch. It’s a hard thing to wrap your head around. I get it. I’m there with you.  Maybe I can shed some light on it.  Those of you who haven’t rolled your eyes and muttered, “Fucking cunt feminazi” and ragequit by now.  Some people I’ll never be able to reach.  Genuinely sad as that makes me.
 
ilovemaletearsInsults say, “YOU ARE A THING THAT YOU SHOULD NOT WISH TO ASSOCIATE YOURSELF WITH” When you say words like “cunt” and “bitch”, you mean us.
 
Telling us that’s not how you mean it is literally beside the point. That’s how we take it. Sure, not all of us, but a LOT of us.  And when we tell you that something you did makes us uncomfortable – and you double down, you’re implying that our feeling of safety, security, and acceptance within the community are less important to you than your right to say whatever the Hell you want.  Someone just told you that you made them uncomfortable and instead of saying, “Oh, shit, sorry – I’ll try to be more considerate in the future.” you did the internet equivalent of slapping them in the face with your dick.  That’s how you act like an asshole (look, a non-gender specific insult!).  That’s how you act like a toss waffle (if you can’t find non-gender specific insults, just fucking make one up).
 
And you’re being a misogynist. No. I don’t care how you see yourself. You’re using misogynistic language and you’re doubling down on it when a woman says, “Hey that makes me uncomfortable.”
 
You are being a misogynist. Point blank. By definition.
 
I’m sorry that hearing that makes you uncomfortable, but there’s an incredibly simple way of not being a misogynist. Stop it. Literally that’s it. Until you do…get used to getting mad a -lot-. Because this “bitch” (thanks, being called a strong, opinionated woman (how I define that word) is actually a compliment) doesn’t back down and doesn’t keep her mouth shut.